Fate
by Lyria Padfoot
Summary: AU. Destiny plays game with Han & Leia. PLEASE R/R!


Disclaimer: As usual, these characters & crap aren't mine. They belong to  
  
George Lucas (all hail the Great Flanneled One!). If I was making money,  
  
I wouldn't be home typing this.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: An partially AU fic in which Destiny plays games with Han & Leia.  
  
Fate  
  
Prologue, Night after the Battle of Endor...  
  
Leia looked up into the night sky above Endor. So that was it. It was over. Forever. In the distance, she could hear the newly victorious Rebels celebrating.  
  
How dare they celebrate. How dare the galaxy be exactly the same as it was when she wanted to fall apart. She looked at the note again, hoping against hope that it wasn't true.  
  
Dear Leia,  
  
As much as I love you, I can't stay. I won't ruin your life. I don't expect you to understand, just know that I love you. I hope you can forgive me someday.  
  
Han  
  
Leia had prayed it wasn't true. But it was. The Falcon was gone. Han, the man she loved more than anything, was gone. And, this time, he wasn't coming back.  
  
It had taken Leia so much to let herself love him. Every time she loved someone, they were taken from her. First her birth mother, then her adopted family on Alderaan, and now Han. It made her wonder what tragedy would befall her brother.  
  
She had asked Han to meet her here, by what used to be the shield generator, so she could tell him her news. She had found instead a note, saying that he was gone forever. She'd never see him again, never hear him arguing with her in all his annoying cranky dearness. He'd never kiss her, or hold her close. She was alone again...  
  
She had to stop thinking like this. It would only hurt her more. Besides, she would always have a small part of him with her, a part she could trust enough to love. A part that would never leave her. Han's child. The child she carried.  
  
It was there, in the middle of the forest of Endor, that her strength finally gave out. She knelt on the ground put her head in her hands, and cried herself to sleep.  
  
Luke found her there, the note clutched in her hands, the next morning.  
  
Part One, Seven Years Later...  
  
"Mommy, Uncle Luke's here!" Terik called.  
  
"I'm coming, honey," Leia called down the stairs to her little one. "Get the door."  
  
Luke came in and gave his sister a hug. "Hey, little sis."  
  
"Hi, Lukie." She always teased him. "How are you?"  
  
"Fine, you? You're feeling better? How's Terik?"  
  
Leia laughed. "One question at a time, okay? I'm fine, never better. You can ask Terik yourself." She put a hand on her six-year-old's head. Terik looked so much like his father, with an unruly brown mop of hair and hazel eyes. "He can talk, you know."  
  
Luke laughed as the child in question dragged him to see the pet kiko. "I think you're right. Hey, you should leave for that meeting."  
  
"Right." Leia kissed her little one. "Be good, you hear me?" She looked at her brother. "Both of you."  
  
"Yes, ma'am." Luke and Terik went to feed the kiko.  
  
Leia left for the morning meeting, her thoughts on the past seven years. At first, she focused only on survival, more for the sake of her baby than anything else. She'd felt so incredibly alone. She'd been angry and upset with Han, furious that he could leave and not look back while she contemplated ending it all. With help from Luke, Mon Mothma, and General Rieekan, she had managed, putting every bit of her energy into the New Republic. Eventually, though, her son was born, and she'd had to pull back from her government-she had a more crucial job now.  
  
Terik was her connection to her rebellious past and her hope for the future. On one hand, it broke her heart that Han had never seen the child they'd created. Her more sensible part knew how Han would complicate her life. She had gotten past Han as best she could, spent as little time as she could dwelling on him. It was hard, though-and the fact that Terik was the spitting image of Han only made it harder. But she took that part of her life day by day, forgetting about Han when she could and thinking of him only momentarily when she gazed at Terik or when someone mentioned his name. With time, what had been a lancing pain had faded into a dull ache, only to be almost nonexistent now.  
  
After the meeting, Leia went home to her son and her brother. Luke was telling Terik about Anakin Skywalker and how Luke had found out he was Anakin's son when Leia walked in.  
  
"Hey Ter, want some lunch?" Leia addressed her son.  
  
"Depends. What are we having?" He jumped up to give her a hug, and they went to the kitchen.  
  
A little bit later, Luke left and Leia made sandwiches for her and Terik.  
  
Then Terik asked the one question Leia had prayed to avoid. "Mommy? What happened to my dad?"  
  
Leia stopped eating. "I don't really know, honey."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Leia considered how best to answer her son. "We were in love. Well, at least I loved him. I loved him more than anything. And then, there was a battle, and after that, he just left. Disappeared. I never found out why." She smiled at the little boy. "You look like him."  
  
He considered this. "Do you still love him?"  
  
"No." Leia thought about how to explain this. "Not anymore. Over time I realized it was over, he was gone, and I couldn't change it. Once I realized that, my love for him just faded away."  
  
Terik looked at her, silent for a moment, his hazel eyes bright. "Could you... could you tell me about him?"  
  
Leia smiled, letting the memories come back. She found the feelings didn't return with them. So much the better. But back to the question. Tell him about Han. How could she explain the Rebellion, from Yavin to Endor, to a six-year-old? "Well, you know I was a leader of the Rebellion."  
  
"Yeah. You fought the Empire."  
  
"Right. I met your father during the Rebellion. His name was Han Solo, and he was a pilot, not really a part of the Rebellion. He saved my life on the first Death Star, with your uncle, and he helped your uncle blow up that Death Star."  
  
"The one that blew up your planet?"  
  
"Yes. He stayed with us on base after that." She laughed in memory. "At first, we didn't really like each other."  
  
"But you did eventually, right?"  
  
"Of course. We loved each other. How do you think you got here? You know babies come when two people love each other very much. But stop interrupting."  
  
"Sorry." The smile on his face was that of his father.  
  
"Well, after that, he brought me off the base on Hoth when the Imperials defeated us there. But something was wrong with his ship, so we had to go to a city someone he knew ran to make repairs. It took us three weeks to get where we were going. That's when I realized I loved him. When we landed..." This was the part she hated. "When we landed, his friend had been invaded by the Empire, and they captured him. So your uncle, Han's friend, Han's copilot, and I saved him. Then we met up with the Rebels again. That was when I found out about you. I didn't tell your father right away when I found out. There was a big battle..."  
  
"The Second Death Star?"  
  
"Yes. You know about Endor? Uncle Luke must have told you. When he faced Anakin and the Emperor?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"That same battle. We got rid of the Empire. That night, I asked your father to meet me somewhere so I could tell him about you. When I got there, there was just a note saying he'd left." The feelings of rejection and anger came flooding back. "I never got to tell him about you."  
  
Terik looked up at her, worried. "Don't be sad, Mommy. I was just wondering. I won't ask again if it makes you feel sad."  
  
"No, Terik." Leia pulled her son onto her lap. "You can always ask." She held him close. "Oh, he would love you..." She kissed him, wondering herself what exactly had happened to Han Solo.  
  
  
  
Part Two, One Week Later...  
  
Leia was on her way home, late for the third time in four days. Terik would be in bed by now... Her thoughts light years away, she didn't notice the tall man walking the opposite way down the street until she crashed into him.  
  
They both fell to the ground, all Leia's paperwork scattering. "I'm sorry, sir." She started collecting the papers.  
  
"Not a problem." He handed her some of the scattered paper. And then they really saw each other. "Leia?" He looked at her in disbelief.  
  
"Han." She held her tears in check.  
  
He looked at her, in her robes of office, and stared into her eyes. "You've changed."  
  
She held his gaze. "So have you. It HAS been seven years, Han."  
  
There was an uncomfortable pause. "Seems longer." He felt like a kid who had been called on the carpet for not doing his homework.  
  
"It does." Leia was sure he didn't know how much longer. "Come with me. There's something we need to talk about."  
  
"No, Leia. There's nothing to talk about. I left for you then, and I'm not staying now."  
  
Leia glared at him. Fine, they could talk right here on the sidewalk if that was what he wanted. "Why did you leave?"  
  
Han met the icy gaze. Maybe she hadn't changed as much as he'd thought. And now, he had to tell her the truth. The hard, painful truth he'd realized seven long, lonely years ago. "You deserved better." He fought to keep his voice from cracking. "I couldn't give you the life you deserved then. So I left and hoped you'd find it."  
  
"Han!" Leia was crying now. She couldn't help it. "You were all I ever wanted then, Han. I loved you."  
  
"Leia... I loved you, too. I still do, it you want the truth. But I knew I couldn't give you what you deserved after Endor."  
  
"Deserved? What about what I wanted? What about what I needed then, Han, or what our son needed?"  
  
That got his attention. "Our... our son?" Leia nodded. Han could barely speak. "I... You... You never said anything... You didn't tell me... I... Did you know? Before.... Before I left?"  
  
"That's why I wanted to see you that night." She looked at him. "Do you want to see him?"  
  
"Please."  
  
"Come with me."  
  
Han followed her wordlessly.  
  
Part Three, Half An Hour Later...  
  
Leia led Han to their son's room proudly. Terik was sleeping peacefully.  
  
Han looked at the child. "He's so beautiful, Leia... he's really ours?" He whispered so as not to wake the child up.  
  
"Yes, Han." The resemblance between those two was just plain scary, Leia decided. "He's really ours."  
  
They left the room together. Han pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her tightly. Leia returned the embrace. They kissed.  
  
It was Han who broke the silence. "Leaving was so hard, Leia... but I thought it would be better for you if I..."  
  
"Shh." Leia hushed him. "I don't care about that now." She hesitated. "Make love to me."  
  
Han lifted her gently. She still weighed next to nothing. "I was hoping you'd say that," he whispered as he carried her to bed.  
  
Part Four, The Next Morning...  
  
Leia and Han were having breakfast when Terik wandered into the kitchen.  
  
"Morning, honey. Sleep okay?" Leia kissed Terik for good morning.  
  
Terik's attention was on Han. "Mommy, who's that? What's he doing here?"  
  
Leia smiled. "Terik, this is your dad."  
  
Han was still speechless. Terik, however, was not. "You better not hurt Mommy again!"  
  
"Terik!"  
  
Han stopped her. He could handle this himself. "I never wanted to hurt your mom, Terik. I loved her. I still do."  
  
"So why did you go away?" Their son was still upset.  
  
Han sighed. "I thought your mom would be better off without me."  
  
"Well, you were wrong!" Terik was definitely his father's son.  
  
Leia faced the irate little one. "He made a mistake, honey."  
  
Terik turned to Han. "So you're staying?" His hazel eyes lit up. "Are you going to live with us, Dad?"  
  
Han hesitated. He'd love to live with them, but something in Leia's eyes... "Well, I don't really know yet. I kind of have to talk to your mom." Genius struck. "Hey, why don't you see if your uncle will take you to see the Falcon? Chewie can show you around."  
  
Leia looked at him. "You're STILL flying that thing?"  
  
Han grinned. "But of course."  
  
Terik just looked confused. "What's the Falcon?"  
  
Han smiled at the little one. His son. "The Falcon is my ship. Chewie's my copilot."  
  
Terik looked at Leia eagerly. "Mom, can I go? Please?"  
  
Leia smiled. "Of course. Go call Uncle Luke and ask."  
  
Part Five, After Terik & Luke Left...  
  
Han looked at Leia. "So, Mom, when do I move in?"  
  
"You don't."  
  
"Leia..."  
  
"No, Han. Don't." She looked at him. "We could never live together, Han. All we've ever done is fight. I haven't even seen you for seven years. Who knows how much we might have changed? It just wouldn't work." She looked tired. "Han, I'll be honest. I don't love you anymore. It took me over five of these seven years to finally get over you. I'm not interested. I'm sorry."  
  
Han's heart cracked. "What happened last night, then?"  
  
Leia frowned. "I don't really know. I guess... I guess I just needed to feel that again."  
  
Han decided to throw caution to the winds. "I love you, Leia. I always will."  
  
"Han, don't make this hard on me. Let's just change the subject for now."  
  
"Okay. Terik."  
  
"Terik." Leia sighed. "He needs a father, Han. I can't fill that space. But sticking us all in the same house would just make everyone miserable."  
  
"So you said." Han didn't agree, but he wasn't going to fight her. "I want to be a father to him, Leia. I'll stay on Coruscant, do what I can. I know you've managed just fine for seven years, but I want to help you."  
  
Help her. Someone who really and truly wanted to help her. "Thank you." Leia was crying.  
  
"For staying?"  
  
"Yes. And," she smiled through the tears, "for giving me Terik."  
  
Part Six, Six Months Later...  
  
"Hey squirt, you ready to go?" Han smiled at his son.  
  
"Yup." Terik smiled back.  
  
Han turned and looked at Leia. "We'll be careful," he promised her.  
  
"I certainly hope so." Dressed in her formal robes of office, her hair up, the President of the New Republic and mother of his son was a formidable presence. "Have fun, Terik."  
  
"Sure, Mom." Terik was excited. Now that he was seven, his dad was going to start teaching him to fly the Falcon.  
  
The temperature between Han and Leia had been positively frigid lately. They bickered constantly. Besides that, Dren Corelis of Cered, one of the most influential senators out there, had publicly admitted he was in love with Leia.  
  
Granted, there were definitely worse guys out there, Han admitted. Dren was the model gentleman. He was patient, intelligent, well-mannered, understanding, brave, known for his values, good with children, and he adored Leia.  
  
That was why Han hated him so much.  
  
The way he saw it, maybe he didn't have a chance with Leia. But the fact that her possible love interest was his complete opposite was just a way for her to rub it back in his face. Besides, if there was one thing Han hated, it was the idea of anyone else with his Leia.  
  
The doorbell rang.  
  
It was Dren.  
  
"Leia, you look wonderful this evening." He smiled. "Ter, what's up?"  
  
"Nothing." The child smiled up at the senator.  
  
"What's he doing here?" Han demanded.  
  
"Dren was kind enough to offer to be my escort at the function this evening." Leia glared at Han. "And I'll thank you to get over yourself and realize we were over seven years ago when you flew off."  
  
Han decided to shut up before she added a few choice words to their little discussion. "Come on Squirt, let's go."  
  
They left.  
  
Dren smiled at Leia. "Do you have Terik this weekend? I was hoping we could all go do something, let him get used to having me around." He took her hand. "Especially if you were serious about our being a couple officially."  
  
Leia scowled. "I'm supposed to have him, but he wants to camping. As a family."  
  
Dren stifled a laugh. "Complete with weapons check for you two before you leave? You'll kill each other." He smiled. "Push Han in the lake for me, will you?"  
  
Leia laughed. "I'd be honored."  
  
Part Seven, That Weekend...  
  
Han scowled. "This is going to be as much fun as a weekend with a rancor with a toothache."  
  
"Oh, shut up." Leia was not in the mood. "Don't talk to me about pain. You've never given birth."  
  
"I put up with you for almost five years," Han retorted. "I know all about pain and misery... Your Worship."  
  
Leia's response wasn't the sharp retort he'd expected. "And at one point I thought we were in love. Funny." She fought back her tears. She would not cry in front of Han Solo.  
  
Han mentally kicked himself. "Aw, Leia, I didn't mean it..." Now this was a fine start to winning her heart again.  
  
That had been his main goal in suggesting this to Terik. He wondered if he'd just blown his chance. Maybe they didn't belong together. Maybe he was fooling himself. Maybe she should marry Dren and he could take her and Terik to Cered and they could forget Han Solo ever existed...  
  
Terik turned off his headphones. "See? No blood."  
  
Leia laughed. "No, no blood." Not yet, anyway.  
  
Part Eight, The First Day of The Camping Excursion...  
  
Camping, day one, Han thought to himself. And definitely an educational experience. Leia looked different without her robes of office, tinier and more friendly. Han had to admit, she was still beautiful, even if they were just camping. Even in casual pants and a sweater, she was still radiant.  
  
Fishing had been interesting. Leia was definitely not as delicate and helpless as she looked. She'd caught two fair sized fish, the same as he had. Although she wasn't a fan of worms. Han would have to remember that.  
  
They'd just finished dinner-the fish along with the canned potatoes and corn. Leia had brought chocolate, and Terik was sitting by the fire having a s'more.  
  
Han was trying to be nice to Leia. He really was. He loved her, and he wanted her to love him. He wondered if he'd changed her opinion at all, then tossed the thought aside. He just wasn't Dren.  
  
Leia was trying to be nice to Han. She really was. Terik shouldn't have to watch his parents bicker like two-year-old children who didn't want to share. But, to be honest, the fact that they hadn't had a fight yet amazed her.  
  
She watched Han as he sat down next to a sticky, chocolate-covered Terik and ruffled his hair. She knew Han loved their son as dearly as she did. For just a second, they were the family she used to dream of during the Rebellion: her, Han, and their child. Han looked up at her, and when their eyes met she was startled at what she thought she saw there. Love.  
  
Han gazed up at her. Leia was staring at him again, as if she were craving something she knew would be bad for her. He met her eyes and gave her the most endearing lopsided grin he could manage. She smiled back at him, then turned and went into the tent.  
  
Part Nine, The Next Morning...  
  
Leia decided to go for an early morning walk. She needed to clear her head. She checked to see that Terik was still sleeping, took a quick look at Han, and left.  
  
She was afraid she was falling in love with Han again. Or maybe she'd loved him all along. It had taken so long for her to admit it the first time, maybe she was lying to herself. She just didn't know, not anymore. It was so much easier to thing when he was gone!  
  
They just seemed right together somehow. Han and Leia. Leia and Han. Logic screamed at her that it wouldn't work, but her heart kept refusing to listen.  
  
But did he love her? Sure he said he did, but that was months ago, and she knew enough about him to know it wouldn't have been the first lie he'd ever told. Maybe he just wanted Terik. Would he lie to her so he could take her child? Did he even love their child?  
  
She knew the answer to that. Of course he did. That was as plain as the nose on his face. But was he just being nice because she was Terik's mother? Or did her really care for her?  
  
Why did she suddenly need to know?  
  
"Leia." Han's voice startled her. "Good morning. Where's Terik?"  
  
"In the tent, where else would he be?" Leia was alarmed and she didn't know why.  
  
"No, he's not, I just came from the tent. I figured he went walking with you." Han was starting to worry now.  
  
"He was in the tent when I left!" Leia panicked.  
  
"I'm not blaming you! I'm just worried." Han tried to stay calm. It didn't work very well. "He wandered off."  
  
"He should know better than that." Leia's mind raced. Her little one... out there alone... "Oh, Han, do you think he's okay?"  
  
"Yes. He's a Solo. He'll be fine." Han wished he felt as confident as he sounded.  
  
Leia took strength from her former lover's words. "We'd better start looking."  
  
Part Ten, Four Hours, Countless Worries, and A Huge Argument Later...  
  
Leia was worried sick. What if Terik was hurt? What if he was trapped or unconscious somewhere, bleeding to death, while she and Han bickered?  
  
As if he knew her thoughts, Han spoke up. "I propose a truce until we find Terik."  
  
She agreed immediately.  
  
Han looked at her. "I know how much you love him, Leia. I love him too. We'll find him."  
  
"No, Han. You don't know." Leia looked tired and so much older. "For seven years that child has been the only thing keeping me alive. He is the reason I get up in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. Right after you left, I almost killed myself, I felt so alone. Terik was my hope. He still is. The only thing in this galaxy I really have left is him. If we don't find him..." Leia cried.  
  
Han was shocked. He had tried to do what he thought was best for her. How could he have been so wrong? He held her close, let her cry. "We will find him, Leia, I promise you." He held back tears of his own. What had he done to her? "Oh, Leia, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."  
  
Part Eleven, Several Hours Later...  
  
Leia looked at Han desperately. "Where else could he be?"  
  
Han was starting to give up hope. "I don't know." He didn't want to hurt her further, but... "Do you think he's even still alive?"  
  
"Don't you dare talk like that! You know we have to keep hoping for him!"  
  
Han grimaced. "You're right, you're right. I know."  
  
Part Twelve, Shortly Before Sunset...  
  
Leia's cry made Han come running. "Terik! Han, get over here, he's hurt!"  
  
Terik's foot was trapped under a fallen tree. He cried and Leia gently stroked back his hair, trying to console him and keep him calm. Terik was cut badly, scared, hungry, cold, and one leg was broken, but he was in one piece. Han lifted him gently and brought him back to camp.  
  
Terik looked at Han. "Are you and Mom mad at me?"  
  
"Mad at you?" The thought hadn't crossed Han's mind. "No, Squirt, we're just glad you're okay."  
  
The little one sniffled. "Mommy, it hurts."  
  
Leia kissed him. "I know, honey, I know. I'll do my best to help, okay?"  
  
Terik continued to cry, but calmed down somewhat. Han slipped out of the tent quietly."  
  
Leia did what she could for her son and put him to bed. She left the tent to talk to Han. "We'd better get him to a medcenter, Han. I can't do much for that leg."  
  
"I know. I'm working on it."  
  
Leia hesitated. "Han..." It was time to tell him the truth.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I know the two of us don't always get along so well, but... I was hoping you would move in with Terik and I."  
  
Han looked directly at her. "For you? Or for him?"  
  
Leia looked into those beautiful hazel eyes. "For us."  
  
"Us?" Han wasn't sure he'd heard her right. "The two of us?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
He straightened. "If that's what you want..." He walked over to her.  
  
"What are you doing, Han?"  
  
"Something I should have done seven years ago." He took Leia's hand and looked into her eyes. "Leia, will you marry me?"  
  
"Yes, Han." She kissed him. "Yes, with all my heart."  
  
Terik's cheering was plainly heard from inside the tent.  
  
Leia laughed. "Han?"  
  
"Yeah, sweetheart?'  
  
"What am I supposed to tell Dren?"  
  
Epilogue, Two Months Later...  
  
Leia stood at the small window of the straw hut. She turned and faced the door as Han came in.  
  
He gazed at her. She was beautiful. The white dress just touched the ground in front while the back dragged ever so slightly. It was shoulderless and low backed. Her hair was pulled up, but a few soft brown curls hung down. Delicate white flowers were tucked into her hair.  
  
She smiled at him. "Help me with my necklace?"  
  
He complied. "You're beautiful." She was an angel. Better than that, she was his angel. "All you need is wings."  
  
"Han Solo, what in a thousand galaxies would I do with wings?"  
  
"Nevermind." He turned her around in his arms so they faced each other.  
  
Leia looked at him, taking in every detail. He was so handsome in the white uniform, complete with hat, cape, and white boots. For once, his hair was staying properly in place. "Wow, Han, you even brushed your hair."  
  
"Well, it IS a special occasion, you know." He gave her a lopsided grin. She loved that grin. He gently ran his fingertips over her face. Leia copied the movement, her fingernails looking even whiter against his skin. Her dark brown eyes gazed deeply into his hazel ones, and Han kissed Leia softly.  
  
Unfortunately, it was at that exact second that Luke poked his blonde head in to see if they were ready. "Are you two-yeah, you're ready. Hurry up or you'll be late for your own wedding." He winked at them, then left.  
  
Han took Leia's hand and led her out the door, and they started their life together. 


End file.
